The Tunnel to the Past

Many of us have a past we would like to forget. Others have buried their past so deep into the ground that the happy memories have also been repressed. None of us would ever want to relive our secretive past, right?

In the book, "Jesus, my father, the CIA", the boy of 16 revisits his past to find a photo of his two-year-old self waving happily. On a further look, the writer comes to terms that the little boy in the photo is frantically gesturing to his present self to look inside of oneself to find the true person.

In this book, I also came to terms with my past self. I realized that I have been living in the shadows for far too long. Hiding away in the shadows of other people's spotlights make me realize that God does not want me to relive the bitterness nor the hatred of the people who have done me wrong. Rather, I am to give up this burden of judging other people to Him, so that I will be freed from the shadow's grasp on my soul.



I got this free book from: Booksneeze.

Indeliable

The word means: that cannot be removed, washed away, or erased....

It got me thinking. What can't be erased? The first thing that came to mind was sin. God is the only way that can take away your sin by forgiving you. Then another quote came to mind. I saw it on Pinterest a few days ago. It said, "words cannot be forgotten, only forgiven." That is indeed a powerful quote. I realized that words can be etched into someone's mind whether good or bad. That made me think hard.

As a child, my mom always told me stories of how blunt I was as a two-year-old. Words that a toddler says is def. weaker than what a college student can say now. I realize that I have to be more careful because words can be a spear of hurtfulness or a bandage on a open wound. 

Even though the book is about the past not being able to be washed away or erased, the word lends itself to different meaning through different perspectives. It's about a group of people and how one incident robs the security of the people. Then the same group of people move past the incident and years into the future, the past comes back to haunt the same group of people again.

I got this book from Blogging for books.

Online schooling at LU

LU is driving me crazy! I try to graduate early and take summer classes and what do I end up with?

Teachers with computer glitches that try to make my life hard!!

The first day that the course list came out, I took it. Then a week later, Blackboard e-mails me and says I didn't take it and I will be withdrawn from the class.

Then last Monday I took a quiz and wrote all my short answers and today, when I checked my grade, the teacher takes off two points because my answer happened to be translated to Greek on his computer?

How does that happen? I don't even know what Greek looks like. Sorry....I am only literate in English and a little bit of Chinese....Why in the world would I submit something in a random language like Greek on a test?

Don't Boast about your Family Background

There is something really creepy going on when someone introduces themselves as a PK (Pastor's Kid) and then later acts completely different later on.

At a Christian college, it's normal when someone says they are either a PK or an MK: Pastor's Kid or Missionary's Kid.

It's not normal for them to be friendly and then turn into a creeper later. He was so concerned for me that he acted out of the goodness of his heart to care for me? That is exactly what he said in his 'apology' letter. He said he was concerned for me.

Good thing I let LUPD (Liberty University Police Department) know about it, because I do not want to become another casualty or become depressed over the matter. My life is too important to let it go to waste just like that.

Here was my situation before I reported him to the police:

He would wait at the Rot in corners and stand there and wait until I showed up for dinner. Then he would sit at the same table. How do I know that? My friend would get there first and save me a table. He hates her, so he would never sit at the same table with her because she's Korean.

When I get to the table, he would suddenly appear out of nowhere and sit at the table, and talk to me. He would completely ignore my friend.

What's worse is that if a Korean or a person of black descent opens the door for him or holds the door open for him, he would walk through another door. He cannot stand for any Korean or black person to holding the door for him and he's a PK?

What kind of Christian deeds are you showing? 

Guilty Until Proven Innocent?

When did we change the laws? I have always heard in courtrooms that a person is innocent until proven guilty. Why is it different in a Christian college? Where are all the "Christians"? I seriously regret going to this school.

Here's what happened today:

Roommate: I would really appreciate it if you washed all your dishes after you used them because those are my dishes you're borrowing.

Me: What dishes? I only have my one bowl. I never borrow your dishes anyways and I always wash mine.
Roommate: oh really? OK..I will just ask the Elizabeth than...

What happened to politeness and tact? I'm supposed to have tact but others are not? Basically, my roommate accused me of not having washed her dishes after I supposedly used them?

What about asking first if I had borrowed any of her dishes? How is that for a roommate that's a prayer group leader? This is not even the first time that she has accused me of taking or 'borrowing' things without her permission.

I just hate the fact that every single time something is missing, my roommates are the first to ask me about it. Did you happen to 'take' this? Did you happen to eat that? Why in the world are you asking me?

No! I didn't borrow your clothes or eat my food. Do you not see that I am not your size in clothing or see my two full-stocked shelves of snacks? Let me tell you something...if there was ever a snow-storm, I would be the last possible person to starve in my dorm.

When the food got stolen out of the fridge, I was the prime suspect? Two prayer leaders accused me of taking food when they have no idea who ate it? How about locking the room door for once?

Every single time I come back to the dorm, the door to my room is unlocked! That is why things are being taken. I'm just thankful that no one took anything from me, except candy. I could go without the few extra calories, so I'm not that worried.

And to top it off, my roommate who is a prayer leader lets people borrow her stuff, left and right. I'm not saying anything, but.....you can guess the rest....

Power-Hungry Spiritual Leaders?

Once a common student becomes a student leader, whether a prayer leader, Spiritual Leader Director, a Residential Assistant or a Residential Director, some will use their powers for good, but there are some that will highly abuse their power.

I am here to tell you about the daily corruption I see in every day life through the eyes of a student struggling to stay afloat in this shark pool of power-hungry Christians.

I have tried to keep these things to myself, but if the truth never gets out, it will not do anyone else any good.

For example,

My friend came visiting this weekend. She arrived on Friday afternoon, I went to tell my RAs that my friend arrived. She said that since I didn't submit an order to the RD, I would now be fined $25 for not telling anyone she was arriving and it had to be done 48 hours before she arrived.

My RA also told me that my roommates had to "approve" of her staying in our room before she was actually allowed to stay for a weekend.

Here comes the hypocritical part:

Last weekend, my roommate's sister comes for a 'surprise' weekend and I definitely disapproved in her staying in our room, yet I didn't get any say at all about the situation. I would've have def. disapproved because having 4 other people in the room is not my ideal workplace when I have a huge paper to write.

I find out this weekend that if your roommates don't approve of other people staying in your room, they can't...

Because my roommate is a prayer leader, and my other roommate's sister that let her friends sleep in my room is also a prayer leader, the friends got to sleep in our room for a weekend without any argument or any ___________ (fill in the blank) !!!!


How is that for a Christian environment?

Hypocritical University?

When people hear the word Christian, they automatically think nice people, right?

In this time and age, Christian is now a mere word, used to throw around authority. If I was non-Christian when I came to this school, I would probably shun all the Christians and not want to believe anything else about God anymore. There are some unbelievable things happening behind closed quarters here.

I believe that people in the world should see for themselves the kinds of things that's happening and step out to make these wrong things right again. If we call ourselves Christian, we are under the umbrella of God's name and we should weed out the ones that are seriously making our name sound bad